From the September 2008 issue of American Baby:

We know that belly sleeping increases the risk of SIDS. But now scientists in Montreal say that spending lots of time in the sitting position is also a risk factor. After studying 409 unexplained deaths of babies 12 months and younger occurring in Quebec between 1991 and 2000, they found that ten babies died in car seats.

When an infant sits for long stretches, his heavy head flops forward, possibly obstructing his airway. Experts at First Candle, the leading SIDS organization in the United States, recommend you use sitting devices only when your baby is awake and supervised. If he falls asleep, remove him immediately and place him on his back on a firm, flat surface.

I started a new job on August 27th–two days after my last post–and haven’t had any time to post. When my schedule gets under control, you’ll be hearing from me!

Melanie

4. Disposable Diapers – Do you have to ask? I swear it’s not that hard! Savings $20-$30 a week ($1500 a year for at least two years)

5. Baby Wipes – Buy two dozen super soft washcloths and either a small “Rubbermaid” style container or some resealable bags. Put six to ten well-rung out wet washcloths into the container. Close it. Voila! You have baby wipes. Just toss in the diaper pail when used. Bring a plastic grocery bag on trips with you for dirty cloth diapers and wipes. Savings: $5 a week. ($260 a year)

6. Nursing Pillow – I swear that your favorite pillow from the couch works just as well. So does a rolled up towel or blanket in a pinch! Savings: $20-$50

7. Nursing Bras – They’re expensive and make you feel silly. The little clasps are a pain. Get sports bras or just plain jersey knit underwires from your favorite discount store. Saving: $20-$50 each

Part 3 next time!

Michelle Kennedy Hogan is the mother of six and the editor of
Organically Inclined. Her new book 100 Ways to Save Money Right Now is available in digital and print formats. She and her husband John homeschool their children, work from home and practice sustainable living on an organic farm in Vermont. Email her at: editor@organicallyinclined.org

My goal is to make 2008 as stress-free as possible. Since my head is still spinning from the holidays, I’d better ease into this year slowly or I’ll be worn out by February. Can you relate?

Today we are finishing our interview with Amy Nobile and Trisha Ashworth, the authors of I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids, a very funny and informative book that will help you discover how to love modern motherhood as much as you love your children.

MB: What are your thoughts on how women can come to peace about hiring help (housecleaning, babysitting, etc..)?

A&T: It all comes down to prioritizing. For some families, the most important thing is not the cooking of the meal, but the quality time and conversation–so ordering out or getting pre-made meals is a great solution. Some moms hire help to ensure that they’re nurturing themselves and/or their relationships, which is really important. We are feeling way too guilty for taking care of ourselves when that SHOULD be a huge priority.

MB: I loved your suggestions for discussing expectations with your husband, and also how you helped me to see things more from my husband’s perspective. Please share some of those ideas with my readers.

A&T: It’s important to sit down with your spouse and discuss what expectations you each have of each other. Who will be the primary breadwinner, and for how long? Who will do the dishes? Who will get up in the middle of the night? It’s amazing how regular, ongoing conversations about these things can set up a positive environment and eliminate unnecessary stress.

MB: Why can’t women give themselves permission to take care of themselves? Please discuss the importance to moms and their children of role-modeling self-care.

A&T: Our kids are watching us! They are learning from us and, if we’re not taking care of ourselves, they will eventually come to know that as ‘normal.’ If we are saying ‘yes’ to everything and putting ourselves last, it will negatively affect them. Remembering that helps keep our focus on taking care of ourselves as well as our families.

MB: I found it so hard to live in the present moment when I was a new mom. What suggestions do you have for focusing on the here and now?

A&T: One mom with older kids told us that she now realizes that the small moments are really the big ones–the ones that count. Don’t forget when you’re in a hard phase, it will quickly pass–but also cherish the good phases because they too will pass. Even just breathing into a sweet moment once a day with your child can help you stay centered.

MB: Please tell us about your new book coming out in the spring.

A&T: Our new book is called Dirty Little Secrets From Otherwise Perfect Moms. It’s a compendium of dirty little secrets–which are really the clues to what’s going on for moms today. It was really fascinating and fun to put together!

MB: Thank you so much, Amy and Trisha. It was great to read your book and to get your insights on how moms can stay true to themselves, align their expectations with reality, and make peace with the choices they make. Every mom (and dad) will find I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids helpful.

Look for several posts next week. Some upcoming topics: The connection between income and housecleaning, an interview with the authors of I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids, and an announcement about my new book for magazine writers.

Have a wonderful holiday. I’ve been thinking about the food all week.

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