Spit-up On My Shoulder

There’s a great article in the December 2009 issue of O Magazine about the depression that adoptive parents can feel once their child comes home. These parents are often feeling conflicting emotions. As the article states, “the joy of adopting coincides with lingering grief over a lengthy battle of infertility. What’s more, conspicuous differences between adopted children and their parents or siblings may elicit unwelcome attention from strangers.”

Another important point of the article is that adoptive parents don’t feel free to complain or admit that they are struggling, as people expect them to only be grateful. This leads to the parent not sharing their feelings and shutting down, or experiencing guilt for having the feelings at all.

A reference book on this topic is The Post-Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption by Dr. Karen Foli.

You can also click here for an article from Suite 101 on post-adoption depression (PADS). The article states that up to 65% of adoptive parents are affected.