Spit-up On My Shoulder

Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile are here to talk about motherhood and how to love it as much as you love your children. Their new book I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids: Reinventing Modern Motherhood is available now.

The book is a great read that exposes the secrets, through interviews with over 100 women, many of us hide about motherhood, and also examines the incredibly high demands we put on ourselves. The book provides strategies to help you set realistic expectations about your parenting, and ways to find freedom from “mommy guilt.”

One of the great things about Amy and Trisha’s book is the humor. I often found myself laughing out loud while reading it.

I appreciate their great tips for helping mothers in the midst of the craziness we call parenting. It’s a book I wish I had read before I had kids so I wouldn’t have been so hard on myself.

Chapter titles include: Am I A Bad Mom If I Don’t Buy Organic Vegetables?, I Love Being A Mom, I Just Hate Doing It, and Oh My God, I Don’t Want to Color Right Now.

THE INTERVIEW (Part 1):

MB: Why do you think moms feel so much pressure to appear happy and to “love” being a mom?

A&T: We grew up in a time that said ‘you can do it all – you SHOULD do it all.’ While we’re in a great generation for many reasons, what that mentality did is raise the bar on expectations to an absurd level. So now, as mothers, we really feel like we should be able to handle everything, say yes to everything and look and feel happy.

MB:Why do you think mothers don’t tell the truth about what they are experiencing?

A&T: One of the things we heard over and over again in writing our book is ‘I feel lucky…I know I should be happier….’ Moms today feel like something’s wrong with them if they’re not completely happy, in part because this generation provides more choices than any other generation. And that just perpetuates a false atmosphere…moms are looking around feeling really alone, when in reality nearly all moms are feeling at least a little bit insecure or guilty about how they’re doing as a mother.

MB: How can moms not be so judgmental of each other?

A&T: The first step to shedding judgment is to learn how to not judge yourself. We are way too hard on ourselves, and have to realize that we’re doing a good job, even if it’s not perfect. Also, one exercise we like is to say the word ‘judge’ to yourself every time you feel yourself judging someone else.

MB: Why can’t we admit how hard parenting is?

A&T: Again, if we’re not being honest with ourselves, it’s really hard to be honest with others. That’s the first step to learning how to love motherhood as much as you love your kids — start by being honest with yourself and then the other moms in your community.

Look for Part 2 next time.