Spit-up On My Shoulder

11/30/95

Today is a good day. Getting a good night’s sleep makes a world of difference, although we did get woken up by our neighbors fighting out on the sidewalk at five a.m.! I couldn’t believe it. We’ve lived here almost a year and never hear a peep out of them, then that happens.

On days like today it’s hard to believe I’ll feel bad again. I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad sign. If I’m feeling really good, am I going to have a big low afterwards, or does it mean I’m getting closer to feeling good more of the time?

Even when I am having a good day, the mothering part can be difficult. Danielle still has fits about things and they constantly have their “needs.” Linda does seem to be easier now that she can sit up. You just put a bunch of toys around her and she’s content for quite awhile. The problem is you feel so overwhelmed by the magnitude of how much there is to do. The house, feeding them, laundry, doctor’s appointments, dressing them, bathing them, your own work, your own hobbies, your friends, your marriage, saving $ for college, saving $ for anything, and maintaining some sort of contact with the adult world so your brain doesn’t go to mush.