Spit-up On My Shoulder

Dear Readers,

What is Equally Shared Parenting(ESP)? Amy and Marc Vachon, creators of the website Equally Shared Parenting, describe it as: the purposeful practice of two parents in an intact home sharing equally in the domains of childraising, housework, breadwinning, and recreation time.

Could an ESP arrangement work for your family? Of course there are sacrifices but, if you and your partner share an even split of your domestic and income-making responsibilities, it can lead to less stress for everyone.

I chatted recently with Marc and Amy to find out more about ESP and why they started their website.

MB: Why did you feel there was a need for your site?

A & M: On our first date almost 8 years ago we shared our visions for ideal future lives with a spouse and children. We both wanted to have children, but were unsure how to proceed without losing much of what we enjoyed about our personal and professional lives. Once we created our present lifestyle of Equally Shared Parenting, we were encouraged by many others beyond our circle of friends to share our experiences. We played with the idea of a
website for about a year while we researched the media coverage of this parenting model.

What we found in our research was nothing! There was plenty written about work/life balance from either the mom OR dad perspective, but very little on how the parenting team could address these issues for the benefit of the family. We also read quite a bit about how the younger generations idealized balanced careers and egalitarian marriages, but were not sure how to create what they wanted.

As a result, we decided to share our passion for this balanced lifestyle and
some of what we have learned along the way by launching the website.

MB: When did you launch your site?

A & M: We launched the site in November of 2006 and have been
pleasantly surprised by the response. It’s a great joy for us to hear from
many other couples who have either stumbled on this lifestyle for themselves
without knowing what to call it, or who have carefully crafted it and
continue to nurture it.

Next time: Advice for couples who are considering the ESP lifestyle, and more from Amy and Marc.