Spit-up On My Shoulder

Today is the final installment of my interview with Eric Maisel, author of Ten Zen Seconds. We’ve been discussing how the TZS techniques can work for new parents.

TZS combines a deep, ten second breath with one of twelve useful thoughts (called incantations) to bring you purpose, power, and calm. I’ve been using the TZS methods for the last month and am amazed at how powerful theses techniques are. You can use them anywhere to help lower stress and create a positive attitude.

Today we cover Incantations 10, 11, and 12.

MB: Incantation 10: I am equal to this challenge: Another great one for new parents. How can this incantation help build confidence in one’s parenting skills?

EM: We often find it hard to feel equal to challenges that we haven’t met before. The challenge of a first child is that we haven’t had a first child before, the challenge of a second child is that we haven’t had two children before, with all of those new dynamics, the challenge of a third child is that we haven’t had three children to deal with before, and so on.

If we can remind ourselves that we are learning as we go, rather than presuming that we are supposed to know everything already, and use “I am equal to this challenge” as a reminder that we can meet all of these new challenges, then we can relax in the moment and stop feeling overwhelmed.

MB: Incantation 11: I am taking action: A big myth about parenting is that it’s all instinctual. What if you don’t know what action to take as a parent? How can you use this incantation?

EM: If you aren’t a single parent, I think that the first “action” to take is to have a real conversation with your mate (as opposed to telling your mate what you intend to do or what’s the right thing to do). You want parenting to be genuinely collaborative and you want to get real buy-in from both parents, which is the only way to promote consistent parenting, with both parents on the same page.

So “I am taking action” can, first and foremost, be used to open lines of communication between parents. The action you may most often take is saying to your mate, “Can we talk about something that’s on my mind?”

MB: Incantation 12: I return with strength: How can parents use this incantation when they need to make transitions (between work and home, after a frustrating time with their baby, etc..)

EM: When we do something that has taxed us, whether that’s at the office or with our child, we often get in the mindset that, not only are we a little tired and grumpy, but that we are entirely depleted and can’t do another thing. We magnify our difficulties and talk ourselves into a worse mood than we are actually in.

Using “I return with strength” helps remind us that we intend to bring our best, strongest self to each activity and that we in fact have the resources to be human in the evening after a long day or human in the morning after a hard night. It is another of the affirmative things we can say to ourselves, affirming that we intend to live by putting our best foot forward.

MB: I can’t thank you enough Eric for takng the time to visit Spit-Up On My Shoulder. The TZS methods have definitely lowered my stress level while increasing my ability to accomplish tasks that seemed difficult. I think they would be helpful to any parent.

To find out more about TZS, including links to other blog interviews Eric has done, go here.

To read the first three parts of my interview with Eric, use the following links:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3