Spit-up On My Shoulder

Happy start to the week. I hope you had a relaxing weekend and are enjoying some springlike weather.

This is the last in my series on organizational tips for moms from Denise Williams, professional organizer. Today Denise discusses how perfectionists can adjust to the chaos a baby brings and why flexibility is a great gift you can give your family.

MB: How can perfectionism affect a woman’s ability to adjust to motherhood?

DW: With women often choosing to have children later in life, new mothers who have proven themselves in the business world will assume that those skills will just transfer over into the mommy world. Not so! It’s a whole new game and flexibility is the key.

I will never forget the moment when I realized with my second child that a happy, relaxed mommy is much more important than a perfect house and that doing things with my children (even picking up and cleaning) teaches them their value in the family. I also learned with play dates, or even people that drop by, that you give other women a gift when your house isn’t perfect. People truly come to see you and your family, not your house.

MB: What are some ways that perfectionist moms can keep their sanity with children in the house?

DW: If you love order, like me, force yourself to only pick up (a full sweep) 1 time per day, preferably at the end of the day.

Do it with your children in a fun way. Play music, use easy, open containers and a little shopping cart to “shop” for things around the house that belong in their room, and give a nice reward at the end. This makes it a fun learning opportunity and not you nagging in frustration.

You can also really cut down on chaos by teaching your children to pick up after themselves after each “activity” if they are not going to come back to it. This makes for smaller jobs instead of complete disorder at the end of the day.

DW: What are the keys to being a happy mom, even when you’re surrounded by disorder?

Two of my favorite quotes are “Progress, not Perfection” and “Not all of my time is billable”…they speak for themselves.

Let people help you! Women don’t let other women see that they are less than in total control all of the time. No, your mother-in-law will not do the laundry or the dishes the way you do, but at least it is done and you have given her a gift of feeling needed and included.

The best environment for a child is one that is safe, creative, and makes children feel included. Give them surfaces to play on in every room. It’s no fun living in a museum. Teaching your children to respect what you have and to help you care for it will also teach them good manners.

Remember that 30 minutes with your eyes closed and your feet up when your children are napping might go a lot farther toward being a happy mommy than extra housework. Ask your husband and kids who they would rather live with.

MB: Thank you, Denise, for all of your organizing and life-balance wisdom. I learned a lot from our discussions.

To view the whole organizational series, use the following links:

Part 1 - Organizing by Zones and other tips

Part 2 - Tackling All That Paper

Part 3 - Laundry

Part 4 - Kid Clutter

Do you have more organizational questions? Send them in!