Spit-up On My Shoulder

Numerous times I’ve seen new moms in commercials, TV shows, and movies who look nothing like I did during my postpartum months. Their hair is perfect, they don’t have undereye circles, and they are thin minutes after delivering a child. Often these media “moms” are wearing white. Huh? If I had worn white during those early months, I would have had to change my clothes 20 times a day or more. What with spit-up and breastmilk and diaper leaks, white was definitely not my wardrobe color of choice.

I wish someone would design real clothes for new mothers. Fashionable clothes that fit comfortably while you’re losing the baby weight, made with fabrics that deflect spills and smells. Some spit-up down your front? No problem. You can wipe it off easily and no odor is left behind (you know how badly that stuff can reek.) How about some clothes that are spit-up colored? That way if the doorbell rings before you get a chance to clean it off, no one will know the difference.

Breast pads never seemed to soak up how much I leaked. I would have loved clothes that wicked away the moisture and made it evaporate instantly. No more big circle stains around my nipples! (I’ll share a funny story about that later.)

Diaper leaks? That one’s hopeless. There’s no outfit in the world that could keep me from changing my clothes after a diaper leak. If only babies came out potty trained.